You Found Me
by wtm
Summary: 'The bruise was swelling. I'd never liked the colour purple, it looked revolting against my pale, near translucent skin. I pressed my finger to it, clinically amused by its mottled texture.' Bella is lost. Will Edward find her? Warning: Abuse/Cutting
1. Chapter 1 Made of Scars

**"Made Of Scars"**

This one came from looking

This one opened twice

These two seem as smooth as silk, flush against my eyes

This one needed stitches and

This one came from rings

This one isn't even there, but I feel it more because you don't care

Yeah, cut right into me

Yeah, cause I am made of scars

Yes I am made of scars

This one had it coming

This one found a vein

This one was an accident, but never gave me pain

This one was my fathers and

This one you can't see

This one had me scared to death,

But I guess I should be glad I'm not dead!

Yeah, cut right into me

Yeah, I am made of scars

Yes, I am made of scars

By Sour Stone

BPOV

The bruise was swelling. I'd never liked the colour purple, it looked revolting against my pale, near translucent skin. I pressed my finger to it, clinically amused by its mottled texture. It throbbed painfully, but it was bearable… for now.

Everything hurt, but then it always did. Nothing was ever left untouched by his onslaughts.

_He stumbled through my bedroom door hardly able to remain upright from the ridiculous amounts of alcohol he had obviously consumed. His lips lifted in a sickening smirk, eyes arrogant, daring me. _

_I didn't move from my position in the centre of my bed awaiting what would inevitably follow. He did not disappoint, grabbing my wrist, he pulled me forward so I was mere inches from his face. The sickening scent of stale sweat and drink hung about him in a heavy cloud, overpowering, suffocating… It was all I could do to try and prevent revulsion from showing clearly on my plain features. He, of course, saw through my pretence with easy, his furious eyes gleaming._

_Roaring he twisted my arm until I screamed, smiling at my cries of pain like the sadistic bastard he was. He let go only to backhand me viciously across the cheek, sending me smashing into the windowsill, my head cracking against the wall._

_My vision blurred as his outline stalked towards me, I slide to the floor struggling to crawl to safety. With my next breath, pain exploded from my side as I bent double whimpering incoherently as he continued to kick at my ribs._

_The blackness that I knew was coming began to close in, like a warm blanket dulling my senses as I fell into the void that was oblivion. Finding my escape, I fled willingly into the darkness._

As if in response to the memory the throbbing grew steadily worse until my chest heaved from my uneven breathing. I gingerly adjusted my position cringing as my body screamed in protest, biting my lip hard to stop the hiss that was building in my throat.

I glanced uncaringly at the clock, 4:30am. Time had run quickly and I had not noticed its passage. I couldn't allow myself to sleep, I knew this, not that I had much idea when it came to medicine. Pain rolled through me in unending circles from discomfort to out right agony. I needed relief.

I reached numbly for the my salvation, the only thing I had found that could make me forget.

The knife cut deep, slicing through the skin just above my elbow like it was nothing more substantial than silk. The warm blood looked strangely beautiful in the half light of my lamp, as I waited for the reprieve that I knew my actions would bring.

I lent back on my bed allowing the emptiness to flood through me, washing the pain to the sidelines as the nothing swept in. Anything to escape.

I knew it was sick and twisted and completely incomprehensible to most, but then so was I. Logically I knew that I was just creating a new scar on my already broken, deformed body. I just chose not to be logical.


	2. Chapter 2 Bother

_Now before you read this I just wanted to say thanks to everyone who has reviewed this story, I really appreciate any comments that are made! I'm really sorry about how long this has take but I have a lot of free time atm, so I will try to update again soon __J__ I know this is another short chapter but they will be getting longer this is just kind of introducing you to Edward :P_

_Disclaimer (forgot to do this last time): I don't own the twilight characters, I just like to play with them… does that sound wrong? :P_

'**Bother'**

Wish I was too dead to cry

My self-affliction fades

Stones to throw at my creator

Masochists to which I cater

You don't need to bother;

I don't need to be

I'll keep slipping farther

But once I hold on,

I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I was too dead to care

If indeed I cared at all

Never had a voice to protest

So you fed me shit to digest

I wish I had a reason;

my flaws are open season

For this, I gave up trying

One good turn deserves my dying

You don't need to bother;

I don't need to be

I'll keep slipping farther

But once I hold on,

I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I'd died instead of lived

A zombie hides my face

Shell forgotten

with its memories

Diaries left

with cryptic entries

And you don't need to bother;

I don't need to be

I'll keep slipping farther

But once I hold on,

I won't let go 'til it bleeds

You don't need to bother;

I don't need to be

I'll keep slipping farther

But once I hold on:

I'll never live down my deceit

By Stone Sour

EPOV

_Set 7 years after the previous chapter_

The soft unsubstantial piano keys gave easily to the delicate pressure I was enacting on their grained surface. A jumble of notes, no indication of a melody, no rhythm to the tumble of noise. Waiting for the inspiration that had so long evaded me. Concentrating, trying to force my mind to focus…but there was nothing. My arms fell to my sides as I slumped from sheer exhaustion. Not physical, in my current _condition _that was impossible, but mental. It felt like I hadn't slept for the best part of a century, which of course _was_ true.

A hand's tentative touch broke me from my reverie as my eyes snapped open instinctually flinching away, while searching for it's source. Alice's light gold eyes fresh from her recent hunt bore into mine as she tried to mask the look of hurt that flickered across her perfect features at my reaction to her touch. Worse was the look of pity clearly present in those striking eyes.

That pity was the reason I waited for the family to leave the house before I began my wild searches for meaning, letting my fingers wander over the ivory as my mind questioned my existence. They would of not liked the conclusions I drew. There was no meaning. There was no purpose, no reason for me to exist. I was empty. I had given everything I had and was now left a shell of who I once was. Alone.

But I would never let my family see this side of me. When they returned I would replace my mask and try to continue with the monotonous purgatory that my life was in the same way that I always had. They still noticed of course. I knew they were worried about me, they shouldn't bother. Not even Alice who often knew more about myself than I did, didn't no the depth of the bleakness that had began to surround me.

I stood, nodding my head to my pixie-like sister in quiet greeting, stepping quickly around her unwilling to answer the questions that her mind had already begun to form. Glancing at my watch I noticed I should probably get ready. Today we were stating yet another in the endless stream of schools that we attended for no particular gain that I could see. Forget purgatory, school was my personal hell.

The modern teenagers mind was possibly the most infuriating thing I have ever come across.

As I stepped into the front seat of my Volvo I let my mind go blank, in an effort to enjoy whatever temporary peace I had left…Not that my siblings were not thinking some rather unsettling thoughts **especially** Emmett. I really didn't want to know that much about my blond sister.

Too soon I was pulling my car smoothly into one of the few remaining parking spaces. Already my mind was being bombarded.

_Wow, whose car is that?_

_Nice wheels, man what I'd give…_

Ha. I wonder what they would be thinking if I had driven my _other_ car, I smirked to myself.

As I stepped out of the car, my excellent hearing noticed the leather seats squeak as it was relieved of my weight. It was embarrassing to hear the children's thoughts change as their insignificant minds took in our inhuman beauty.

_Well, fuck me. LITERALLY!_

_Oh, I would totally do that!_

One particular girl was particularly forward in her thoughts towards me.

_God, look at that sex hair, looks like he just had a quickie in the backseat of his car. Such a shame, he could of invited me… _

The visual that accompanied that last thought made me feel physically sick. Noticing my grimace Alice laughed, guessing what I was hearing. I glared back at her, knowing she didn't mean it in a vicious way, but irritated nonetheless.

Reaching a hand up to try and tame my mop of hair and looked away from the girl's predatory gaze, feeling distinctly uncomfortable. Saying a quick goodbye to my family I all but ran to my first class remembering where it was from the map I had briefly glanced at the night before. Sitting down at one of the remaining places in my new history class, I heard yet another thought this coming from my teacher, Mrs. Lowe.

_Oh my, look at the new boy, what I wouldn't give to be a few years younger right now…_

It was going to be a long day.

_Well that's it for today :P Hope u liked it and please review!_

_PS: Please tell me if u spot any spelling mistakes and so on as I wrote this pretty late at night and its entirely possible :/_


	3. Chapter 3 Breathe No More

**Well hey again XD Thanks to the people that reviewed! I was slightly upset I didn't get more of a response but I have tried to follow the people that did review's advice and make this chapter much longer. This chapter has been hard to write and I really have no idea why and then tonight I kind of had a break through and it just started to flow. So I hope its alright. When reading this bare in mind that this is 7 years on from the first chapter and in that time Bella has been broken in almost everyway imaginable. This will probably be my last post for a while cause I'm off on my hols or what u Americans call 'Vacation' :P Anyway hope you like it! :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Edward :'( But Edward could 'own' me any time he wanted ;)**

**-x-x-x-x-x-**

'_**Breathe No More'**_

_I've been looking in the mirror for so long.  
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.  
All the little pieces falling, shatter.  
Shards of me,  
Too sharp to put back together.  
Too small to matter,  
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.  
If I try to touch her,  
And I bleed,  
I bleed,  
And I breathe,  
I breathe no more._

Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well.  
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.  
Lie to me,  
Convince me that I've been sick forever.  
And all of this,  
Will make sense when I get better.  
But I know the difference,  
Between myself and my reflection.  
I just can't help but to wonder,  
Which of us do you love.  
So I bleed,  
I bleed,  
And I breathe,  
I breathe no...  
Bleed,  
I bleed,  
And I breathe,  
I breathe,  
I breathe-  
I breathe no more.  
_By Evanescence_

_BPOV_

Beep. Beep.

I lay awake, with him sprawled across me. His hand still gripping my breast, I didn't even attempt to free myself. I bit my lip hard, trying not to react to his slight movements that made my skin crawl. I couldn't move because I knew if he woke up, I was worse than dead. Ha. There are so many people who think that there is nothing worse than death, but these people obviously didn't know what the fuck they were talking about. Death is easy…living is so much harder.

Beep. Beep.

He eventually rolled off me, grunting at me to 'shut that fucking noise up'. I quickly stood up turning my alarm clock off retreating into the safety of the bathroom. Turning the lock I slumped against the door waiting for the silent sobs that would never come. I hadn't cried since I was 10 years old, even though I had wanted too many times. Yet another thing he has broken in me.

I walked to the sink gripping the edge as I struggled to support myself. Glancing up I saw a gaunt faced girl, her sickly pale skin drawn tight over bone. Her dark hair lay lank, clumps of blood dried into the tangled mess. Worst of all her eyes were empty of any emotion. They didn't tell anything of the bruises that were even now forming on her inner thighs. They didn't let you see the words that had been cut into her skin. They didn't show the pain.

I could look in the mirror and not recognise my reflection. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to want to punch through that mirror, shattering the pathetic image that resided there. But I had no anger left.

Stepping into the shower I began to look over my body accessing the new marks on my skin. None of the cuts were particularly deep, but they probably would get infected if they weren't treated. In my 17 years I think I have learnt to deal with my injuries rather well… Maybe I should consider it as a career, I considered as I completed my morning routine of bandaging my wounds.

Quickly examining my face I decided that the dark mark that had last week shadowed my eye had faded to the point where it was barely noticeable. Good. I couldn't be bothered with make up today. I then pulled my hair into a low ponytail making a effort to cover one of the more recent hand shaped bruises that lingered on the back of my neck, not wanting to remember how it occurred.

_He grasps my neck in a tight grip pulling me towards him, forcing my mouth to his. I fight the urge to bite his fucking tongue as it delves deep into my mouth, knowing that if I did I would be punished. So I just lie there and… NO!_

No. I didn't want to think about that.

Slipping on my usual clothes; a black long sleeved shirt, dark skinny jeans and oversized hoodie, which hid my grossly deformed and wasted body perfectly. I paused for just a moment to touch the scars that ran in smooth lines across my wrist up until the crease of my elbow. They had a kind of gothic beauty. Some new the raw skin still puckered and angry, some delicate white lines that had slowly faded so you would hardly notice them.

Control. That's what the scars were. What they symbolized. There was very little in my life that I could control, He had seen to that. But I could control this.

I could choose to bleed.

I could choose to have these scars.

I could choose to feel that pain.

Pulling down sleeves I braced myself to unlock the door, moving my hand to carefully slide across the dead bolt… The rest of the house was quiet… maybe he was still sleeping. _Please let him be sleeping…_ I begged as I crept downstairs avoiding the floorboard that I knew creaked. Making my way to the front door I considered the idea of breakfast for no more than a second as my stomach turned at the mere thought of food. Who fucking cared, I couldn't even remember the last time I had eaten anyway.

I closed the door firmly behind me releasing the breath I had been holding for so long my chest had begun to feel tight and uncomfortable. Getting into my truck quickly, I pulled out, making an effort to be careful, noticing the slight covering of ice on the road, where the recent rain had frozen over night. I smiled. This kind of weather made everything so much easier for me. No one commented on a bruise when there was ice on the ground.

Forks Fucking High School. It _should _have been my safe haven. It _should _have been the one place that I could be without having to look over my shoulder, without having to jump at the quietest sound. It felt like I was in Dante's Inferno having being plucked right from the 7th circle of hell, but being stuck, unable to escape from Limbo.

As I stepped out of my truck, grabbing my bag from the other seat I duck me head concentrating on my dark grey converses, hoping against hope that no one noticed my entrance, though to be honest its pretty impossible to remain inconspicuous with my beast of a truck. But, for once… I heard no shouts of sarcasm. Nothing hit the back of my head. Nothing was making me cringing further into my ever present hoodie. I looked up.

Everyone was looking in the same direction, seeming to gape in wonder at something that was occurring to the side of me. If I was curious I would of instantly followed the crowds gaze. If I cared at all I would of felt the need to turn around and look. But to be honest I couldn't give a flying fuck about anything other than the fact I may actually be able to get to class today without being harassed by my fellow students. As I practically ran up the stairs to the main entrance I heard the voice of the person I desperately wanted to avoid, Lauren, who was cackling predatorily with her friends.

'I mean did you see his fucking sex hair' Lauren moaned. 'Can u imagine that tickling your thighs as he-'

'I don't know why you are so interested in Hair,' Interrupted one of the sluts she calls friends. 'Personally I'm liking the look of Muscles over there, now that looks like a guy that could…satisfy a woman…'

'Southern isn't all that bad either' murmured Jessica in what I assumed she thought was an alluring voice…it made her sound like a train smoker.

I had heard enough. As surreptitiously as possible I tried to edge around the hags from hell and make it into the building without being noticed. No such luck.

'Well if it isn't sweet little Isabella' snickered Lauren as I quickly backed away almost falling over my size five feet in the process.

'What is it Duckling? You scared?' Sang Jessica an evil glint in her eye as she stepped closer to me and I stepped back wishing I could disappear into the wall.

'Please… Please just leave me alone… I haven't done anything.' I whimpered not really expecting them to listen, they never had before.

' Who said you had done something? Just that your breathing is enough, Swan.' Smirked Lauren as she grabbed my arm her manicured nails a dark vibrant red, digging into the already sore skin of my upper arm. At her touch, my breathing quickens as a shudder of recognition though my body. _No, don't touch me… _I want to scream, but my throat feel as though someone is choking me and I can't make a sound. Hyperventilating, my head began to swim as my mind retreats gratefully into darkness.

-x-x-x-x-x-

When I came to I was lying on the cold concrete as people spoke over me. Great I'd fainted…**again**… Deciding to keep my eyes closed while I accessed the situation, I listened carefully.

'I don't know what happened to her' Lauren simpered in a sickly sweet voice. ' Me and Jess just went over to like talk to her and ask her if she was alright, you know, cause she looked really pale and ill.' She then proceed to start to pretend to cry, even going as far as to be say 'Oh this is just so horrible' between fake sobs. Fucking bitch.

Groaning I let the surrounding people know I was waking up fluttering my eyelids as the bright light hit my eyes. Coach Clap was bent down beside me, looking half-annoyed, half-disinterested, he obviously couldn't give a shit if something was wrong with me and was just frustrated I had prevented him starting his class on time. He quickly asked me if I was ok glancing down at his watch.

_So my previous thought that he didn't want to be late was correct…interesting. _

I assured him I was fine and began tentively climbing to my feet trying to avoid re- injuring my aching body, as the crowd that had gathered to watch the 'freak' dispersed. All except for Lauren, no of course she couldn't just let me get off that easily. I flinched as she leaned in until her lips were almost grazing the shell of my ear.

'You think your so fucking clever don't you? Trying to get me into to trouble like that.' She hissed making my breathing stutter at the venom in her voice. 'You pull a stunt like that again Swan and your fucking dead.' She chuckled as she straightened up, throwing me a ridiculously fake smile and turning to saunter away.

Breathing deeply, I slowly followed her down the deserted hallway until I reached my destination: Mr. Banner's room. Apologizing for my lateness, I quickly moved towards my seat at the back of the class room stumbling and very nearly falling as I catch my foot on the straps of somebody's discarded bag. This of course earns a a chuckle from the rest of the class, even Banner doesn't bother to keep a straight face. Fucking asshole.

Finally sitting down in my usual seat I hunch my shoulders wishing for all the world that I could cease to exist. Slipping my fingers under the edges of my sleeves, I allowed my fingertips to run along the scar tissue as I often did, though being careful not to let the fabric ride up my arm. This simple movement calmed me, helped me to push away the pain that was centered in my core.

_I'm in control, nothing can hurt me if I don't let it hurt me. Pain can only be felt because it is acknowledged and all I have to do if refuse to acknowledge it… _I thought to my self trying to ignore both the pain and the need to reopen the scars that my hands were tracing.

_Oh what a load of bull! You're lying to yourself and you no it. _Screamed another part of my consciousness looking to restart the continuous argument that lay between them.

Fuck. Maybe I **was** going insane.

_-x-x-x-x-x-_

_There hope you liked it and really hope you review (because what you don't know is that I wait, intently watching my mail box every time I post something…opps :L) No seriously please tell me if this is alright so far and if anyone has any __**constructive **__criticism I would love that too. XD_


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